My Great Fear in Life!

What is going to happen to our child when I and my husband are no longer here? Who will take the custody of our child when we die? This is my great fear in life… I know leaving our child alone in this world can greatly affect the quality of his life. How I wish that may our dear God extend my life so that I can be with my child till he can be able to live by himself.

As years go by I’m getting sickly perhaps because I am not getting any younger. But whatever pain I feel every day I just ignore it because I would like to survive and want to live longer for my child. But there are times I can’t help myself crying. Why? It’s because my child suffers from being rejected by his classmates especially the boys. For whatever reason, I don’t know but perhaps because they don’t like to socialize with Sped pupils like my child.

Last year, my child was physically injured because of the foolishness of one of his classmates. The “bully boy” put out his foot to forestall my child while walking inside their classroom. But before that incident, the said “bully” intimidated my child several times physically and emotionally and was even saying offensive terms to him just like “p---- ina kang sped ka!, crazy, nutty etc.”  

My son loves to play and make friends. But there are times that he asks me why his classmates don’t like to talk to him nor even play with him. I just answer him; maybe they are too busy… And I try to tell him some other alibis that could make him ease a little pain in his heart. But how so painful it is to a mother like me when you knew that your child feels so bad? How I wished them to become friendly to my child because he likes them so much. But it’s out of my control and I have nothing to do with it. Even my brother in-law shows no affection for our child. Doesn’t he know that my little big boy is his own “flesh and blood”? So, those are the examples of my fear… Thinking that I am still alive and can still be able protect our child… But what if I could not beside him anymore? Now, tell me why should I fear not when thinking what will happen to our child when we, his parents are no longer here?

What my child experiencing is a stigma which means that he feels not socially accepted in school, community or even in our society. Something else that I can do is diverting what’s in his mind by talking about the things where he could be focused… just like about insects, dinosaurs and some other animals etc. 

I and my husband make sure that we must have time to take him to the mall or park where he will feel comfortable and can express his ideas… because for him, family bonding is very important.

I wish that I could stay here forever for my little big boy!